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(originally dated dec. 14, 2007, 10:42 p.m.)
it's the end of a rather long week. we had our christmas party this afternoon, on work premises. still, i managed to be my silly, just a bit sordid self and got my coworkers laughing their asses off. one said to me, "I've gotta hang around with you!" i took that as a compliment. i think i could be good friends with him. the food was ok, just average. there was loafcake to be had, and i think today was the first time i ever ate it. it was a bit too dry for my taste, but edible. not bad.
we now have a new employee on our team. she seems nice enough, but sat opposite us at the party. i don't think she will try that hard to be part of our team, which is too bad because i think we are a pretty damn cool lot. but that shouldn't matter, because it's all about the work, anyway, and she's proving to be a fast and furious worker, quite capable and sharp. this makes me feel slow and wooden and quite self conscious. she's also pretty, except for her haircut. i want to not like her, but i can't help giving into my womanly pettiness and jealousy. it's hard because i really try not to compare myself to other women, because i think i'm pretty damn cool just the way i am, ya know? my favorite thing is making people laugh, i love when they laugh at my jokes and silliness. and i hope they like my smile when I laugh. i dunno. i'm not that bad. i could be speedier at work, but i think i have latched onto a pace that i am now comfortable with and if they demand more from me then i will likely chafe at it.
oh well. we can't have everything be perfect, can we?
it's the end of a rather long week. we had our christmas party this afternoon, on work premises. still, i managed to be my silly, just a bit sordid self and got my coworkers laughing their asses off. one said to me, "I've gotta hang around with you!" i took that as a compliment. i think i could be good friends with him. the food was ok, just average. there was loafcake to be had, and i think today was the first time i ever ate it. it was a bit too dry for my taste, but edible. not bad.
we now have a new employee on our team. she seems nice enough, but sat opposite us at the party. i don't think she will try that hard to be part of our team, which is too bad because i think we are a pretty damn cool lot. but that shouldn't matter, because it's all about the work, anyway, and she's proving to be a fast and furious worker, quite capable and sharp. this makes me feel slow and wooden and quite self conscious. she's also pretty, except for her haircut. i want to not like her, but i can't help giving into my womanly pettiness and jealousy. it's hard because i really try not to compare myself to other women, because i think i'm pretty damn cool just the way i am, ya know? my favorite thing is making people laugh, i love when they laugh at my jokes and silliness. and i hope they like my smile when I laugh. i dunno. i'm not that bad. i could be speedier at work, but i think i have latched onto a pace that i am now comfortable with and if they demand more from me then i will likely chafe at it.
oh well. we can't have everything be perfect, can we?